2 Peter 1-11

I have received the type of faith that is only in Christ, not in myself.  Nothing I can ever do will prove me righteous or put me in right standing before our perfect, holy God.  ALL I can do is believe in faith in the only One who is perfect and righteous-Jesus.  And only then can I receive righteousness by that faith. 

By His power alone, He has given me EVERYTHING, not some things but every single quality I need to have true life and godliness (not godlessness, because I am pursuing The One.)  Through my pursuit of Jesus Christ and through my heart knowledge of Him, I will receive all He has for me to live.  In the process, He will receive all glory through my life, because it is not by my works but by His very hand that anything I do or say is pleasing to Him.  I will not boast in anything but Jesus Christ.   The great invitation is to come to Him who will provide ALL that is needed. 

 

By seeking Him first and His kingdom, I have the privilege of possessing His own Son in my heart.  He belongs to me and I to Him.  My sights are set on Him and not on this fallen world. My reality is not this world. 

 My reality is Jesus and the words of life He speaks.  

For this very reason, I will seek after Him.  I will be disciplined in my pursuit to add to my faith, strong character, absolute truth, self-control, alert diligence, reverent wonder, generous love and deep friendships.

Because...as these wonderful qualities are growing in me day by day, the fruit of seeking Jesus and true heart knowledge of Him will grow in me. 

It is my choice, and if I so choose to abandon my pursuit of these awesome gifts from the Lord, I will have thrown down the very tools He gave me to grow in relationship with Him.  And I will have carelessly forgotten that God longs to purify and sanctify me for His glory-that one day He will finish the work He began in me. 

Therefore, I will be even more diligent, knowing that He wants to mature me, He wants me to practice and mature these great gifts that I will never stumble and fall away from the truth of Jesus Christ.  Because in the very same way, the Kingdom of God will be given to me as I pursue it, He gives it to a greater measure.  Seek first the Kingdom. 

2 Peter 1:1-11

His Grace

It is the act of an overcomer and a victor to receive the grace of God.  Before I knew Him, I could not receive such a thing.  It is His will for my life and my own sweet privilege to receive His grace.  I would not be who I am without it!  I will never be the same because of it.  His grace is what allows me to forgive others and forgive myself.  His grace is what helps me to learn from my mistakes no matter how frequent they are.  His grace is the reason I can go on.  Because of His grace, I have hope for my future.  Because of His grace, I can enjoy deeper friendships.  It's all because of His grace.

Living Stones

I sat in a meeting today with the other two leaders of the worship team, Brian and Lolly.  What a wonderful and productive time we had-three hours of solid discussion about our worship team and our fellowship.  Oh how I enjoy being in the presence of these two authentic followers of Christ.  

At the end of our conversation, I felt compelled to share an ongoing inner struggle and ask for prayer. In a fog of embarrassment and frustration, I stumbled over my words to describe the issue to my friends.    (It is so tough to admit weakness and be totally vulnerable-especially when in the presence of people who seem to never have any struggles of the sort.)  Well let me have another go at making this problem plain...

I feel as though: I am unproductive as a leader. That people begrudgingly follow me.  That I am not cut out for this and that it was a mistake that I was asked to lead.  That all my ideas and my leadership attempts fall through.  

As I was relating all of these feelings to my friends, my kids were sitting on my lap playing with my IPad.  Interestingly, they pulled up the camera app and had it focused on my face.   Instead of the typical view, they had it open to the extra options view so that my face appeared distorted and unnatural.  

I had just asked my friends if I would always deal with this issue or if one day I would finally be done with it.  Lolly answered with a confident, "No, you will not always deal with it."  She went on to say that I am being transformed into the image of Christ and so one day, I will have a right view of Him and of myself.  

In that moment, the Holy Spirit showed me that just as I was staring at this distorted view of my face on that screen, that is how I was seeing myself-distorted.  Only when I get my eyes off of myself and onto Him-only then will I be transformed and only then will I truly know who I am in Christ.  

For those whom He foreknew, He also predestined to become conformed to the image of His Son. Romans 8:29a Now we see but a poor reflection as in a mirror; then we shall see face to face.  Now I know in part; then I shall know fully, even as I am fully known.  1 Corin 13:12

Beloved, now we are children of God, and it has not appeared as yet what we will be. We know that when He appears, we will be like Him, because we will see Him just as He is. 1 John 3:2

As many times as I have had this feeling rise up in me, I have seen my fellow believers rise up to encourage me and pray for me.  Thank you, Lord, that you are consecrating and purifying each one.  You are building us up together as living stones with you as the Chief Cornerstone. 

1 Peter 2:4-6

Coming to Him as to a living stone, rejected indeed by men, but chosen by God and precious, ⁵ you also, as living stones, are being built up a spiritual house, a holy priesthood, to offer up spiritual sacrifices acceptable to God through Jesus Christ. ⁶ Therefore it is also contained in the Scripture,

“Behold, I lay in Zion

A chief cornerstone, elect, precious,
And he who believes on Him will by no means be put to shame.”

Strength...Yes Please!

Since I posted last I've had much more revelation on the subject I am about to lay out.  I have already described these dreams in my previous post, but they have spoken to me so profoundly, I would like to review them. 

 I had a dream that I was treading into the ocean, cautiously and respectfully fearful of this great vast unknown body of water.  Joshua was in my arms as continued deeper up to my chest.  I glanced back over my shoulder at my husband who was following close with Henry in his arms.  Two little girls with long blond hair also accompanied us on our mission.  And it was clear that we were in charge of them.

I told Matt about my dream and asked him if he had had any dreams as of late.  He said he had and he proceeded to explain his dream in detail.  He could fly in his dream.  He could see the vast blue sky out in front of him and he was ready to climb to the heights but something was over his head, keeping him from moving into the spacious skies.  Interestingly enough, he carried Joshua in his arms.  

In both of these dreams, we see the element of discipleship, carrying someone else along on this journey we are in on this earth.  God is calling us to deeper levels with Him, drawing us to new heights, and revealing His great glory.  Both dreams are held in a setting of God's great creation, so vast, you could never fully explore the depth and breadth-not in this life time anyway.  I am in awe of the depths of God.  Even after I've given my entire life and even spend eternity exploring Him, I will never reach the end of this Great God.  The way He asks us to go, may be scary at times, but He calls us deeper.  And even if we don't have all the answers and know all there is to know, we are called to bring others with us on the journey.  God equips the called.

So as I have been pondering these dreams over the past week I have also been struggling with a deeply rooted issue that has plagued me a good part of my life: fear.  Fear of man, fear of offending someone else, fear of what God will do and what He won't do, fear of how an enemy will attack me, fear of being rejected and fear of not belonging, fear of getting too close and letting people in.  Fear in general.  This fear is clearly misplaced because if I am a Christian and have accepted Christ as my savior, then I should no longer be walking by fear, but by faith.  I know the truth of the gospel.  I know:

In regard to fear in general: Neither death, nor life, nor angels, nor principalities, nor things present, nor things to come, nor powers, nor height, nor depth, nor any other created thing, will be able to separate us from the love of God, which is in Christ Jesus our Lord. (Romans 8:38, 39 NASB)

In regard to fear of offending: In reference to your former manner of life, you lay aside the old self, which is being corrupted in accordance with the lusts of deceit, and that you be renewed in the spirit of your mind, and put on the new self, which in  the likeness of  God has been created in righteousness and holiness of the truth. Therefore, laying aside falsehood, SPEAK TRUTH EACH ONE  of you  WITH HIS NEIGHBOR, for we are members of one another. (Ephesians 4:22-25 NASB)

In regard to fear of what God will do and what He won't: He makes me lie down in green pastures;  He leads me beside quiet waters. He restores my soul;  He guides me in the paths of righteousness  For His name's sake. Even though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death,  I fear no evil, for You are with me;  Your rod and Your staff, they comfort me. Surely goodness and lovingkindness will follow me all the days of my life,  And I will dwell in the house of the LORD forever. (Psalm 23:2-4, 6 NASB)

AND:

You open Your hand  And satisfy the desire of every living thing. The LORD is righteous in all His ways  And kind in all His deeds. The LORD is near to all who call upon Him,  To all who call upon Him in truth. He will fulfill the desire of those who fear Him;  He will also hear their cry and will save them. The LORD keeps all who love Him,  But all the wicked He will destroy. (Psalm 145:16-20 NASB)

In regard to fear of the enemy: "No weapon that is formed against you will prosper;  And every tongue that accuses you in judgment you will condemn.  This is the heritage of the servants of the LORD,  And their vindication is from Me," declares the LORD. (Isaiah 54:17 NASB)

In regard to fear of letting others in: Let us hold fast the confession of our hope without wavering, for He who promised is faithful; and let us consider how to stimulate one another to love and good deeds, not forsaking our own assembling together, as is the habit of some, but encouraging  one another;  and all the more as you see the day drawing near. (Hebrews 10:23-25 NASB)

I've narrowed down my recent difficulties to a lack of strength.  I know the truth of God's word, but for some reason lie continually win out in my mind.  I have asked the Lord to help me to take these thoughts captive, but I have been unsuccessful in my efforts.  

My friend Autumn and I have been rising early in the morning and meeting at the gym to work out.  Every now and then we run on the treadmill.  Autumn runs almost the entire time and I usually start out running and end walking.  Essentially, I give up and don't continue running because I lack a mental strength to finish strong.  Autumn and I had a conversation about this last week as I was sharing my struggle against our enemy.  I think it comes down to a strength of mind.  Ironically, in the same conversation, she asked me to run a half marathon with her.  I declined in the moment, but since then, have reconsidered. (More on that later). 

The following day, I met with my long time friend, Sheila.  It has been about eight years since we've seen or talked to one another and we certainly had a lot to catch up on.  She has decided to pursue a career in Anesthesiology.  Wow!  Not only that but she shared some very personal struggles with me, that have truly shaped who she is a person and certainly deepened her faith in Christ.  Amazingly, our conversation turned to strength of mind and the strength that God has bestowed on her in a time of great difficulty.  

A couple nights before, I had another significant dream.  In the dream, Matt had passed away.  My mom and I stood on an embankment and we looked down over a staircase where many people and demons were traveling up and down.  All of the sudden, there was some sort of explosion and a violent fight broke out.  I turned to run and find cover, but my mom stood still and screamed with the most ear piercing scream, "STOP!" over the chaos.  Immediately, there was silence and all the attention was on her.  Suddenly, the masses charged her in attack.  There was an onslaught of open fire in her direction-flaming arrows, sharpened pencils, and fire balls.  (I found out in a subsequent dream that the pencils symbolized words.)  None of it even touched her or affected her.  She stood still and calmly watched as this violent crew rushed toward her.  I was amazed at her calm strength but that didn't help me.  I scrambled to find a place to hide from this charade.  The ring leader of this group who was clearly some sort of demon jumped up in her face to try and intimidate her.  He did not succeed.  She did not so much as flinch in the face of such danger and ugliness.  Then he proceeded to taunt her and try to coerce her to lie for him.  He told her that she had to lie for him-that she had to say that he did one thing that he clearly hadn't.  She simply LAUGHED IN HIS FACE and answered unequivocally NO. He immediately gave up on her and turned to me.  He began to torment me then, telling me I had to lie for him.  I answered in a shaky and uncertain voice, "Oh, I...I...I can't, I didn't see it happen.  I'm n...n...not sure I can lie about it, if I didn't see it."  My answer was so wishy-washy.  I was obviously afraid and left a lot of room for him to continue with his tormenting.     That was the end of the dream, but one impression I was clear on is that my Mom's name meant something in the dream.  I looked it up later and Christina means "Christian, follower of Christ" and Mildred means "QUIET STRENGTH".  Another interesting theme in this dream is that I was with my Mom.  Again, discipleship is evident as it was in my previous dream and Matt's as well.  



As I pondered all that had happened over the course of the previous days (half of which I haven't even touched on), I was overwhelmed at how much God had spoken to me about strength.  I began to pray and ask God for strength.  I did so Sunday morning before church, but oh how I felt so incredibly weak.  I searched the scriptures for encouragement.  I landed on my answer from the Lord:

 O LORD, You have heard the desire of the humble;  You will strengthen their heart, You will incline Your ear (Psalm 10:17 NASB)

You answered me, "Yes, I will give you strength."

It has occurred to me that often times strength is something that happens over time and with work.  When you train your body, you bring against your muscles, resistance and strain and over time, your muscles stand up to the test and get stronger.  I believe that I need to take every thought captive:

For though we walk in the flesh, we do not war according to the flesh, for the weapons of our warfare are not of the flesh, but divinely powerful for the destruction of fortresses.  We are  destroying speculations and every lofty thing raised up against the knowledge of God, and  we are  taking every thought captive to the obedience of Christ, (2 Corinthians 10:3-5 NASB)

I believe that as I renew my mind, I will be transformed and I will gain a strength of mind that I have lacked in prior days.  I will not be subject to the same devices of the past, because I will resist the enemy and he will flee.  God is answering my prayer.  I see it already and I believe in faith that He is doing what he promised.  

For I am  confident of this very thing, that He who began a good work in you will perfect it until the day of Christ Jesus. (Philippians 1:6 NASB)

He will finish what He started.  

So in light of my recent revelation, I have decided to run this half marathon with Autumn, as a physical representation of what God is doing in my spirit.  As I train, I will come up against hurdles, that in the past, I would not have fought to climb.  Each time I cross one, I will gain a new strength of mind and as I fight for this new level of strength, I know that God is being faithful to give me that strength.  

I can do all things through Him who strengthens me. (Philippians 4:13 NASB)

New Heights and New Depths

God is doing some amazing things in our lives. I am overwhelmed with the revelation He has dropped on us. Several days ago God gave me a dream. I was wading into the ocean, which I am not entirely comfortable with, even if it were just me. But I was carrying my son, Joshua, as I was wading deeper and deeper into the vast unknown ocean. Right behind me was Matt, carrying Henry. Also, two other little girls were with us. The dream was short but it carried a lot of significance for me. Deep calls out to deep. Going to the deeper places with the Lord is not necessarily a comfortable place...in fact, it can be very unsettling. But my course was determined and I was not turning back. The only reason I even looked behind me was to make sure my husband and the rest of my family was with me. The fact that we were carrying our children with us was the other detail that stood out to me in the dream. How important it is to disciple others and bring others along with us on our walk with Jesus. I was just talking to our drummer the other night about giving lessons. He told me that he didn't think he could do it because he didn't know enough. What if that was my attitude about sharing the gospel? What if I never said anything because I don't feel like I know enough about the scriptures? Well, then I would never share the gospel. Later in the week, Matt was blessed with a promotion. Although he may be doing a lot of the same things he does now, there is a definite shift. Instead of being focused solely on his own development, he will also be concerned with the development of others. How timely that the Lord would be giving me the revelation about discipling! Matt and I are in this season together-Matt, in his job-and both of us in the season of parenting young children. I believe it is reaching even further to those in our circle of influence. I believe this revelation is not only for us but that God is releasing this revelation to His church in this season. A few nights ago, I had the prompting to ask Matt if he had had any dreams recently. He quickly replied that he had! He had a dream only a couple days after I had mine, that he could fly. He could see wide open spaces where he could climb higher into the deep blue sky, but something was over his head, keeping him from reaching new heights. I am not sure what this ceiling represents, but I pray that whatever it is would be removed. Because I believe that dream represents Matt climbing to new heights with the Lord. Interestingly, the dreams are very similar in meaning. Mine going deeper with the Lord and Matt's going to new heights with the Lord. The astounding link between the two is that we were both carrying Josh in our dreams! Sunday was our anniversary and of all the days for it to happen, our anniversary was the day I lost one of the diamonds from my wedding band. And the laughable part is that I realized it on the way to a jewelry party the very next day. I believe that God has us in a phase of transition-in our marriage and in our walk with Him. I believe that He is doing something new and that He wants to give us something new-something precious-as precious as a new diamond. He is removing something old that we have valued, but He will replace it with something new. It will cost us, but not more than we are willing to pay. I love the beautiful and mysterious ways of the Lord and I pray that we would grasp the full revelation that He is so gently revealing to us. I am confident that He has begun a good work in us and He will perfect us.

I WILL know wisdom and instruction,
I WILL LEARN to discern the sayings of understanding, AND I WILL receive instruction in wise behavior,
Righteousness, justice and equity;
I WILL give prudence to the naive,
I WILL GIVE to the youth knowledge and discretion,
I AM A WISE MAN AND a wise man will hear and increase in learning,
I AM A MAN OF UNDERSTANDING and a man of understanding will acquire wise counsel,
I understand a proverb and a figure,
I UNDERSTAND The words of the wise and their riddles.
I FEAR THE LORD BECAUSE, The fear of the LORD is the beginning of knowledge;
I AM NOT A FOOL BECAUSE Fools despise wisdom and instruction.
I HEAR MY father's instruction
I do not forsake your mother's teaching; Indeed, they are a graceful wreath to MY head
And ornaments about MY neck.
My son, if sinners entice ME,
I WILL NOT consent. (Proverbs 1:2-10 NASB)

I belong to You

I am not perfect in my performance. I am not perfect in my practice. I am not perfect in my progress. But I am perfect in my position before God. Because the perfect one gave his life for me and stands in my place. I have been made perfect in God's sight. Washed white by grace.


And having been made perfect, He became to all those who obey Him the source of eternal salvation, (Hebrews 5:9 NASB)

For by one offering He has perfected for all time those who are sanctified. (Hebrews 10:14 NASB)

I have been accepted because Jesus was rejected.

He was despised and rejected by mankind,
a man of suffering, and familiar with pain.
Like one from whom people hide their faces
he was despised, and we held him in low esteem. (Isaiah 53:3 NIV)

He then began to teach them that the Son of Man must suffer many things and be rejected by the elders, the chief priests and the teachers of the law, and that he must be killed and after three days rise again. (Mark 8:31 NIV)

The stone the builders rejected
has become the cornerstone; (Psalm 118:22 NIV)

And at three in the afternoon Jesus cried out in a loud voice, "Eloi, Eloi, lema sabachthani?" (which means "My God, my God, why have you forsaken me?"). (Mark 15:34 NIV)

I did not give God a reason to love me.

But God demonstrates his own love for us in this: While we were still sinners, Christ died for us. (Romans 5:8 NIV)

He loves me because I am His.

I am my beloved's and my beloved is mine. (Song of Solomon 6:3a NIV)

Renew Your Mind

For the past few weeks, nap time with Henry has been a source of contention. I usually change his diaper, he chooses two books and hops up in bed. After I read the books to him, he lays down in his bed and I lay down on the floor next to him and then the "party" begins. I noticed yesterday that Henry makes the same mistakes over and over again-and he says the same things to me almost verbatim. 

"Mommy...mommy...mommy...mommy..." I pretend like I'm already asleep.  He keeps it up.  When I finally reply he says, "I just wanna Skype later." I say ok and he's quiet for another minute or two. Then he repeats my name again until I answer and he says, "Can you put my blankey on?" After I do, he proceeds to kick it off in less than two minutes. Then he takes his slippers and his socks off and on repeatedly until I get completely frustrated and end up threatening a spanking or else start doling them out. It is an awfully painful cycle not only for me but for Henry as well.  I couldn't understand why he kept repeating the same things day after day until yesterday.

Finally it occurred to me that because kids (especially Henry) love routine and that it is only because it is a habit that we keep repeating this cycle. But how to bust out of it is the question...

That afternoon when we laid down for a nap, I tried to add some additional activities to our routine in order to hopefully override Henry's unpleasant habits. I had his blankey in place before he got up in bed.  We read an extra story from his children's bible and I also took his slippers off ahead of time and put them in the closet. After he got settled, I stood over him and asked him to close his eyes and take three deep breaths. I did it with him (maybe more for myself than him) and counted each breath out loud as we went. When we finished he dove into his old routine... "Mommy"... I stopped him immediately and said, "Henry, you know how you usually say Mommy a bunch of times? We're not going to do that today. God wants us to make new habits that are good for us. That way Mommy and Henry can be happy when we do nap time. When you say Mommy over and over, that is a mistake. We are going to try not to make the same mistakes every day." I then prayed aloud for Henry and asked God to renew his mind and help him to make new habits that are healthy. I prayed that God would show Henry how to go to sleep without complaining or stalling and that he would sleep soundly.   Amazingly, it worked!! I am as shocked as you are! I know it was a lot of talking and it's possible I bored him to sleep but whatever works! Anyway, God answered that prayer because we had no problem again today.  It stuck. Praise the Lord for new good habits!

After I prayed for Henry and as soon as I laid my head down on the floor to take a snooze with my little Henry boy, the Lord started impressing on my heart the idea of renewing my mind. Wow! I love how He teaches me through my kids. I have experienced torment in my life when it comes to worrying about what people think-fear of man type stuff. In essence, it has been my own disgusting cycle. I put myself out there, entrust my heart to another person, trust is broken because people always disappoint, offense occurs in my heart, I pull back and put up walls, and make a note not to put myself out there like that again. God is asking me to renew my mind. Instead of taking the same paths I always take, challenge myself to take a different path. The path laid out in the word of God. This path is not easily traveled. It requires me to die to myself to my selfish pride. It requires me to humble myself and not always be proven right. To not trust in another person but trust in God.  To not be offended but to make allowance for other people's faults.  To forgive as I have been forgiven.  It takes effort. Real mental effort. Pushing through feelings and not acting on an emotion. I must renew my mind, take every thought captive to the Lord and make every effort to apply the word of God to my life in every situation. Otherwise, I will still be dealing with the same issue when I'm old.  I want to mature in my faith and I want to be holy as He is holy.  Lord, please make me more into your image.

Do not conform to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God's will is—his good, pleasing and perfect will. (Romans 12:2 NIV)

Finally, brothers and sisters, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things. (Philippians 4:8 NIV)

Therefore we do not lose heart. Though outwardly we are wasting away, yet inwardly we are being renewed day by day. For our light and momentary troubles are achieving for us an eternal glory that far outweighs them all. So we fix our eyes not on what is seen, but on what is unseen, since what is seen is temporary, but what is unseen is eternal. (2 Corinthians 4:16-18 NIV)

Today I had a revelation.  

Matt and I had a tiff this morning.  It was silly really but it made me realize an important truth about my marriage and ultimately my relationship with God.  A belief I had in the back of my mind surfaced during this altercation...and good thing it did because the belief was a total lie.  Here I was, walking around believing that my husband thought that I was annoying.  And although I didn't believe that he felt that way all the time, I did believe that he felt that way most of the time.  In effect, I believed that all people feel that way about me.  Now I put a lot of stock in what my husband believes about me.  I consider it truth...a pretty all encompassing truth.  

So here's my theory.  I believe that all people, whether they care to admit it or not, act out of what they believe-could be what they believe about themselves or what they think others believe about them.  Ultimately, the opinion they care about the most is what will govern their actions. For example, if you believe that you are smart, you will be confident in your knowledge and speak easily out of that.  If you believe that you are funny, you will be confident in telling jokes and making people laugh.  If you believe that you are a good speaker, you will have no problem speaking in front of other people.  

If your identity is wrapped up in what you think others believe about you, then that is what your actions will reflect.  For example, if you believe that other people think you are the life of the party, then you will feel obligated to be the life of the party wherever you go.  If you believe that other people think you are shy, you won't speak up in front of others.  If you believe that other people don't like you, you are not likely to reach out to them or to make friends easily.  My point is, whatever opinion matters most to you is going to ultimately determine what you believe about yourself.  Who you are.  Your identity.  

What if you cared most of all about what God says about you?  About who He says you are and what He has called you to be?  What if we asked our children what God says about them?  What if we told them that God called them to be holy and pure, heirs to a great promise and a great treasure in heaven that neither moths nor rust can destroy and thieves cannot steal?  What if we lived each day, knowing that we are loved, highly favored, forgiven, and not falling in and out of grace?  Knowing that we are royalty, priests, saints, members of the body of Christ?  What if we walked around fully aware of the powerful presence of God in our lives,  knowing that God has created us to do good works which He has prepared for us? I believe that if we are truly grounded in our identity in Christ and His truth, there is nothing that can hold us back from pouring out the love of Christ and seeing the world changed.  

In 1 Cor 13 it says, "For now we see in a mirror dimly, but then face to face; now I know in part, but then I will know fully just as I also have been fully known." (1 Corinthians 13:11, 12 NASB

Our true identity is found in Jesus Christ.  One day we will see Him face to face and we will know Him fully and we will know who we are fully.  But until then, we seek Him and seek to know more about who Christ is and what He says about us in His living and enduring word.  It is here we find our true identity.  And when we know who we are, then we will truly be able to RISE UP and see this world changed for the kingdom of God.

My prayer for our church...

Lord, I pray that we as a church would praise and honor you above anything or anyone. I pray that out of that praise to you, you would pour out your overwhelming love. So much so that it is impossible for us to keep to ourselves. I pray that love would begin to flow freely from one to another. I pray that we would put others above and before ourselves. I pray that we would rejoice in seeing another used even if it means that we ourselves are not being used. I pray that you would make us so secure in who you've called us to be that nothing would rock our world. I pray that our one desire would be to make your name great (and not our own). I pray that pure joy would result from our brother or sister being used in a mighty way by you. I pray that when we see another that has been gifted, we would immediately thank you and praise you for what you've done in them. There is no place for jealousy or envy. There is no place for fear or insecurity. I pray for your perfect peace and your astounding, uncontainable love. May your love abound! I pray that you would renew our minds...make our passions your passions; make our focus your focus; make our desires your desires. Give us eyes to see the hurting and needy and do something about it. Help us to make the most of every opportunity given us and Lord, expand our reach. I pray for heaven on earth. Let your kingdom come and your will be done. You are our God and we are your people.
Amen.

Lord, let me never forget the ultimate sacrifice you made on the cross. When my mind drifts throughout the day, let it always rest upon the cross and the price you paid, this act of love, the greatest gift, resulting in your death and ultimately your life resurrected and mine with yours. Too much to comprehend. So as I meditate on you, I pray that you would reveal in an even deeper way that which you have done for me and for all of humanity. It all points back to you.

2012 Goals and Aspirations...

Read the bible in a year. Not just read it but study it. Ask the Holy Spirit to teach me, guide me, speak to me in every quiet time I have with the Lord. Grow closer to the Lord and know Him better. Live out my faith. Reach out to people. Help the poor in spirit and the needy within my reach. Experience a new level of worship with the Lord. Get in His presence daily. Be present where I am. Live and make the most of every opportunity.

Be a great wife. Be off the phone when Matt gets home from work and greet him. Read the word of God with Matt. Pray with him daily. Pray for him daily. Put my complete focus on him for at least fifteen minutes a day. Go on a date with Matt at least once a month. Plan ahead. Meals made. Shirts ironed. Find activities for us to do together. Listen to him when he's talking. Don't put him down or make him feel inadequate in any way. Be respectful. Choose battles. Let things go. Thank God for him daily.

Be a great Mom. Pray about the decision to homeschool and follow the Lord. Do a special project with my kids weekly. Daily sit with them and have my complete attention on them individually. Pray with them daily. Help Henry memorize a scripture a month and put it in a book for him to keep. Teach my kids. Be patient with my kids. Write down their strengths and weaknesses. Pray about their strengths and weaknesses. Ask for God's wisdom on how to parent them. Read Shepherding a Child's Heart and one other parenting book. Spend time with them individually. Take them to be with other children or have other children come over at least once a week. Thank God for them daily.

Be a great worship team leader. Plan at least one worship night a month. Make time for each person on the team to talk and hear their hearts. Pray for current members of the team and their families. Pray for future members of the team, the one's God has not brought us quite yet. Put together teachings for the team and only present with the prompting of the Lord. Obey the Lord. Write down each one's strenths and weaknesses. Pray for each one's strengths and weaknesses. Ask God to show me how to encourage them in their weaknesses and let them flourish in their strengths. Submit to the Lord completely. Be humble. Thank God for this privilege daily.

Be a great steward. Continue to tithe. Continue to give to KLove and Wheeler. Pray for mine and Matt's heart when it comes to giving above and beyond. Be frugal with our spending so we can be extravagant with our giving. Care about where each dollar is going. Be obedient with our finances. Pray about vehicle situation and make a move before the end of the year. Get new flooring upstairs. Landscape our patio in the spring. Paint the outside trim. Thank God for every dollar that is placed in our hand and pray that every dollar that goes out is used effectively.

Be a great friend. Ask my dear friends about their lives. Learn new things about them when I am with them. Consider each one better than myself. Put their needs above my own. Help when I can. Listen. Pray for them and their families. Be thoughtful and give. Be detailed. Thank God for them.

Do and say nothing more or nothing less than God asks me to. I pray that I would be obedient in all things and walk humbly in the time given to me in 2012. I pray that I would live a life worthy of the calling of the gospel. And I pray that in all things, I would bring glory to the mighty name of Jesus. Love God, love people, live powerfully, live honorably.

Father, I pray that you would hear the cry of my heart and help me to live according to your will and your word. Order my steps and give me strength for today.