Living Stones

I sat in a meeting today with the other two leaders of the worship team, Brian and Lolly.  What a wonderful and productive time we had-three hours of solid discussion about our worship team and our fellowship.  Oh how I enjoy being in the presence of these two authentic followers of Christ.  

At the end of our conversation, I felt compelled to share an ongoing inner struggle and ask for prayer. In a fog of embarrassment and frustration, I stumbled over my words to describe the issue to my friends.    (It is so tough to admit weakness and be totally vulnerable-especially when in the presence of people who seem to never have any struggles of the sort.)  Well let me have another go at making this problem plain...

I feel as though: I am unproductive as a leader. That people begrudgingly follow me.  That I am not cut out for this and that it was a mistake that I was asked to lead.  That all my ideas and my leadership attempts fall through.  

As I was relating all of these feelings to my friends, my kids were sitting on my lap playing with my IPad.  Interestingly, they pulled up the camera app and had it focused on my face.   Instead of the typical view, they had it open to the extra options view so that my face appeared distorted and unnatural.  

I had just asked my friends if I would always deal with this issue or if one day I would finally be done with it.  Lolly answered with a confident, "No, you will not always deal with it."  She went on to say that I am being transformed into the image of Christ and so one day, I will have a right view of Him and of myself.  

In that moment, the Holy Spirit showed me that just as I was staring at this distorted view of my face on that screen, that is how I was seeing myself-distorted.  Only when I get my eyes off of myself and onto Him-only then will I be transformed and only then will I truly know who I am in Christ.  

For those whom He foreknew, He also predestined to become conformed to the image of His Son. Romans 8:29a Now we see but a poor reflection as in a mirror; then we shall see face to face.  Now I know in part; then I shall know fully, even as I am fully known.  1 Corin 13:12

Beloved, now we are children of God, and it has not appeared as yet what we will be. We know that when He appears, we will be like Him, because we will see Him just as He is. 1 John 3:2

As many times as I have had this feeling rise up in me, I have seen my fellow believers rise up to encourage me and pray for me.  Thank you, Lord, that you are consecrating and purifying each one.  You are building us up together as living stones with you as the Chief Cornerstone. 

1 Peter 2:4-6

Coming to Him as to a living stone, rejected indeed by men, but chosen by God and precious, ⁵ you also, as living stones, are being built up a spiritual house, a holy priesthood, to offer up spiritual sacrifices acceptable to God through Jesus Christ. ⁶ Therefore it is also contained in the Scripture,

“Behold, I lay in Zion

A chief cornerstone, elect, precious,
And he who believes on Him will by no means be put to shame.”