2012 Goals and Aspirations...

Read the bible in a year. Not just read it but study it. Ask the Holy Spirit to teach me, guide me, speak to me in every quiet time I have with the Lord. Grow closer to the Lord and know Him better. Live out my faith. Reach out to people. Help the poor in spirit and the needy within my reach. Experience a new level of worship with the Lord. Get in His presence daily. Be present where I am. Live and make the most of every opportunity.

Be a great wife. Be off the phone when Matt gets home from work and greet him. Read the word of God with Matt. Pray with him daily. Pray for him daily. Put my complete focus on him for at least fifteen minutes a day. Go on a date with Matt at least once a month. Plan ahead. Meals made. Shirts ironed. Find activities for us to do together. Listen to him when he's talking. Don't put him down or make him feel inadequate in any way. Be respectful. Choose battles. Let things go. Thank God for him daily.

Be a great Mom. Pray about the decision to homeschool and follow the Lord. Do a special project with my kids weekly. Daily sit with them and have my complete attention on them individually. Pray with them daily. Help Henry memorize a scripture a month and put it in a book for him to keep. Teach my kids. Be patient with my kids. Write down their strengths and weaknesses. Pray about their strengths and weaknesses. Ask for God's wisdom on how to parent them. Read Shepherding a Child's Heart and one other parenting book. Spend time with them individually. Take them to be with other children or have other children come over at least once a week. Thank God for them daily.

Be a great worship team leader. Plan at least one worship night a month. Make time for each person on the team to talk and hear their hearts. Pray for current members of the team and their families. Pray for future members of the team, the one's God has not brought us quite yet. Put together teachings for the team and only present with the prompting of the Lord. Obey the Lord. Write down each one's strenths and weaknesses. Pray for each one's strengths and weaknesses. Ask God to show me how to encourage them in their weaknesses and let them flourish in their strengths. Submit to the Lord completely. Be humble. Thank God for this privilege daily.

Be a great steward. Continue to tithe. Continue to give to KLove and Wheeler. Pray for mine and Matt's heart when it comes to giving above and beyond. Be frugal with our spending so we can be extravagant with our giving. Care about where each dollar is going. Be obedient with our finances. Pray about vehicle situation and make a move before the end of the year. Get new flooring upstairs. Landscape our patio in the spring. Paint the outside trim. Thank God for every dollar that is placed in our hand and pray that every dollar that goes out is used effectively.

Be a great friend. Ask my dear friends about their lives. Learn new things about them when I am with them. Consider each one better than myself. Put their needs above my own. Help when I can. Listen. Pray for them and their families. Be thoughtful and give. Be detailed. Thank God for them.

Do and say nothing more or nothing less than God asks me to. I pray that I would be obedient in all things and walk humbly in the time given to me in 2012. I pray that I would live a life worthy of the calling of the gospel. And I pray that in all things, I would bring glory to the mighty name of Jesus. Love God, love people, live powerfully, live honorably.

Father, I pray that you would hear the cry of my heart and help me to live according to your will and your word. Order my steps and give me strength for today.

A Higher Standard: Do Not Give Up

It is entirely too easy to retreat to a place of safety at the slightest hint of rejection.  One thing I've noticed about myself is my tendency to give up-not just on goals or ideas that I have but on people.  I will admit, my expectations are extremely too high for other people.  If you know me and you are reading this, please forgive me for revealing these ridiculous expectations and I pray that you won't feel pressure about having to fulfill them (because probably only God can!)


My expectations are for people to: notice me; respond when I say something; listen when I talk; try to at least pretend to care about what I say; consider ideas that I reveal and not necessarily use them, but at least tell me an opinion; call me/text me back in a reasonable time frame; and to be completely frank...READ MY MIND.  I hope you know that I do realize that these expectations are totally self-centered and egotistical.  But it helps to see these in writing so that when a situation arises and I am taking things to an extreme (as I sometimes do), I can see how ridiculous my expectations truly are.
I believe that most people, whether they care to admit it or not, have some fairly high expectations in their relationships.  And when they are not fulfilled, a wall as high as the Empire State Building goes up not only for one person but EVERYONE in their lives.  Unfortunately, this leads most people to experience ONLY superficial relationships.  This is a lonely, self-defeated life.  


A calling and a challenge: Can we fight?  Can we assume goodwill?  Can we give each other the benefit of the doubt? Can we be transparent and have the courage to share our feelings with our fellow man?  Can we forgive?  Can we allow others to share their disappointments in us?  Can we reach out to someone who has offended us? Can we recover?  Can we continue to put ourselves out there?  Can we withstand rejection, knowing that we are ALWAYS accepted by Christ? Can we give ourselves and allow God to completely restore us?  Can we fight the tendency to hate and love instead?  Can we do what it says in Romans 12:2 and transform ourselves by the renewing of our minds-think and speak positively?  Can we think and act in ways that are not simple but that require effort?


Lord, let me live a life worthy of the gospel of Christ.


Above all, you must live as citizens of heaven, conducting yourselves in a manner worthy of the Good News about Christ.  Then, whether I come and see you again or only hear about you, I will know that your are standing together with one spirit and one purpose, fighting together for the faith, which is the Good News. Philippians 1:27


However, let us keep living by that same standard to which we have attained.  Philippians 3:16

Psalm 62 Prayer

My soul, wait only upon God and silently submit to Him; for my hope and expectation are from Him.  He only is my Rock and my Salvation; He is my Defense  and  my Fortress, I shall not be moved.  With God rests my salvation and my glory; He is my Rock of unyielding strength and  impenetrable hardness, and my refuge is in God!  Trust in, lean on, rely on,  and  have confidence in Him at all times, you people; pour out your hearts before Him. God is a refuge for us (a fortress and a high tower). Selah [pause, and calmly think of that]!  Men of low degree [in the social scale] are emptiness (futility, a breath)  and  men of high degree [in the same scale] are a lie  and  a delusion. In the balances they go up; they are together lighter than a breath.  God has spoken once, twice have I heard this: that power belongs to God.  Also to You, O Lord, belong mercy  and loving-kindness, for You render to every man according to his work. (Psalm 62:5-9, 11, 12 AMP)

Listen to me, self. Wait and hear what God says about you and the matter at hand. Ask Him and wait for His answer in every circumstance. Because my final say comes from the Lord. Without Him, there is no wind in my sail. He is my hope. I expect in Him only.  I will not be moved and I will continue on a straight path with my head held high looking to Him who gives me strength, who is my shield, my defender. My happy ending in the arms of my Savior rests on God. Whatever glory I get to receive will be placed in me by my God who gives according to His good pleasure and according to His will.
The confidence that I have will not come from whether I can complete a task or whether I can do something perfect or even well. My confidence will not be birthed from the praises of another man. My confidence will not come from my competency at all.  My confidence will come from the unyielding strength and matchless power of My great God.  I will trust entirely  in Him who is fully capable of anything and everything. I will trust in, rely on and lean on God. If I fall, He will catch me. If I am lost, He will show me the way. If I am lonely, he will surround me. If I am forgotten, He will always remember me. I will completely and honestly pour out my heart before Him. I can always run to Him. 
Every single man on the earth, even those of authority, those seemingly powerful-every single life is but a vapor. No man can stop his own death. No man can stop aging. No man has power over God. He is highly to be praised. All power belongs to Him. He has power to change or direct any circumstance. He sees everything on earth in full and knows the outcome of every situation.
You could squash me and all of humanity like a bug, Lord. But instead you see me as a daughter and not only do you love me but you are proud of me when I succeed at something. You are proud of me even when I have a right attitude of heart. Mercy and loving-kindness belong to you. You provide to each man as you see fit. I will receive as you allow. 
Thank you Lord for the truth of your word.

Necessary endings lead to new beginnings.

Father, give me wisdom and strength to do what you ask me to do.  Give me an ear to hear your voice and make me sensitive to the longings of your heart.  Transform me to be more and more like you, Jesus.  I do not want to take even one step more until you've said go.  I don't want to voice even a single word unless you've asked me to.  I do not want to take on another thing, unless it is your will.  I want to rest in you, Lord.  To know that your grace covers ALL my mistakes.  I want to minister out of the overflow so please fill me up with more of you.  There is no peace apart from you.

I wilt without your living waters.  I stumble unless your mighty hand upholds me.  I am lost at sea without you as an anchor for my soul.  Help me see that I am safe and secure inside your arms.  Help me to see myself the way that you see me.  Help me to stop comparing my relationship with you and my gifts and talents and to just BE who you have called me to be.  I want to not only be satisfied but delighted with who you have made me to be.

My hopes and dreams rest in your hands.  You are my Lord, my Savior, my King, my Friend, my greatest Love, my Rock, my Refuge, my Help, my Protector, my Provider, my Father, my comforter, and my Creator.  I love you Jesus!

Be Still

This week Sara and I made an effort to sit quietly together in the presence of God and simply listen for Him.  We prayed and asked God to be in our thoughts (which isn't a stretch since He sent His spirit to dwell in us).  With just a simple note card and a pen we sat and waited.  After just a few short minutes both of us had written down a few notes which pertained to the other person.  Sara shared with me that she saw a picture of an ant.  Ants can lift up to 20 times their own body weight.  As I thought about this more and more throughout the week, I realized how pertinent this is to the season I am currently in.  I certainly possess great strength because my truest strength is found in an Almighty God.  The word says when I am weak, He is strong.  I am also a servant, but here lies a very significant difference between myself and the ant.  Although I want to work diligently for my Lord, I do not want to be a mindless drone.  My sweet Lord, longs for me to enjoy a deep and loving relationship with Him.  He does not want me to do grunt work with sheer will power, but He wants me live life abundantly.  That means not only to enjoy my tasks (that He prepared in advance for me), but to also take time to just sit in His presence and LOVE Him.  On my walk tonight, I gazed up at the blue sky and the leaves blowing in the summer breeze.  The leaves stopped rustling for a brief moment and in that moment, He whispered to my heart, Be still and know that I AM GOD.

So many things to do...have to start somewhere...

I did this last pregnancy and it seemed to help me calm down...There's always so much to do leading up to the pregnancy-it's hard to keep it all straight! There are about 15 different lists hanging around my house and it's time to compile them all! These items are in no particular order, I just need to get them off my mind...

*Hang hallway pictures

DONE! Buy the remainder of Babies R Us items

DONE! Start baby book

DONE! Catch up the chores on the chore list

DONE! Finish white book research

DONE! Make sure finances are in order

DONE! Get groceries

DONE! Finish up refinancing the house

DONE! Finish cards

DONE! Get pics developed

DONE! Costco trip

DONE! Schedule Christmas

DONE! Get Menard's stuff

DONE! Bake cookies

DONE! Make ornaments

DONE! Pick up Henry's pictures from JC Penney

DONE! Get pjs from JC Penney

DONE! Christmas shopping - Carson, Bob and Bonnie, Nate

DONE! Wrap presents

DONE! Get rid of the piano

DONE! Get rid of treadmill

DONE! Clear out garage so we can park inside!

DONE! Get the baby stuff out of the attic and set up

DONE! Wash baby stuff

DONE! Pack my bag for the hospital

DONE! Pack baby's bag for the hospital

DONE! Make Christmas list - send to Bonnie

DONE! Put together Henry's Christmas list and send to Bonnie

DONE! Finalize birth plan

DONE! Paint the kitchen and dining room

DONE! Get the bassinet

DONE! Make list of things still needed for baby

DONE! Buy the remainder of Target baby items needed on registry with the 10% off coupon

DONE! Kim get a flu shot

DONE! Go through Henry's clothes and put small clothes in the attic

DONE! Take drop off to Goodwill

DONE! Drop off recycling

DONE! Put up Christmas decorations - Nov 27th & 28th

DONE! Finish decorating baby's room and clean

DONE! Get the oil changed in the Subaru

DONE! Get new windshield wipers

DONE! Get the Subaru aligned

DONE! Appraisal

DONE! Clean decorations for top of kitchen cabinets

DONE! Clean carpets

DONE! Get list of pharmacy items for baby from Mom

DONE! Get hair cut

DONE! Get Daisy food

DONE! Install dining room light

DONE! Hospital tour - Dec 1st

DONE! Make sure Verizon Wireless is fixed

DONE! Get the garage cleaned up

DONE! Put together cookie tins

DONE! Put together the bassinet