So today I decided that no matter how many things I've got to get done, I'm going to try to keep a good attitude. I'm trying to do this new thing where I don't let 'things that need to be done' rule me. It is such a challenge for me to live in the moment I'm in and not worry so much about all the many uncompleted tasks (that frankly will always be there no matter how hard I work). I've been praying about this for years and I'm finally just sick of it and want to be rid of this thorn in my side. I'm going to be joyful and have a good attitude today.
Soon after I made this decision, I went in to make my bed and straighten up my room a bit. As I pulled the comforter up, something damp brushed up against my arm. I froze and stared at the big yellow spot and it stared right back at me.
DAISY! You stupid jerk!!!!!!!!! I'm seriously going to kick that dog's butt as far as I possibly can. What the heck would possess that idiot dog to go in and pee in the middle of our bed? Does she think begrudgingly to herself, 'No one even asked me how I slept last night or how my morning is going, much less opened the door for me to go out and take my morning piddle. I'm so sick of these humans ignoring me. I bet if that baby wanted to play ball, they would throw it at least one hundred times. I'll show them!'
This morning before Matt left he asked me if he could let Daisy come in and lay in the bed with me. I said ok, but only because I assumed he let her out to go potty beforehand.
Whatever. It doesn't even matter.
Blog, you are my witness. This is the last straw. Daisy is NO LONGER ALLOWED ON OUR BED. She'll be lucky to set foot in our room. PERIOD.
Tuesday, August 18, 2009
Friday, August 7, 2009
One last, lasting HOPE
Are you trying to be perfect?
Have you succeeded?
Have you made even one minute, insignificant mistake...?
Think about it now....
Have you told even one little white lie, given someone a dirty look or had a scandalous thought...?
Well, then, you are no longer clean. Period.
If you've messed up once, then you are damaged goods. Stained forever. Trashed.
I'm sorry, but you will not spend eternity in paradise because, unfortunately, you can never stand blameless before the One that created you.
But wait...there is one hope for you!
There is one perfect person. The person of Jesus Christ.
He did not sin once--NOT EVEN ONCE--EVER! If only you had his record, right?
You can. Anyone can.
All you have to do is accept Him.
Romans 10:4 says, "For Christ is the end of the law for righteousness to everyone who believes."
It couldn't be more simple. It couldn't be more clear.
Romans 10:9 says, "if you confess with your mouth Jesus as Lord, and believe in your heart that God raised Him from the dead, you will be saved; for with the heart a person believes, resulting in righteousness, and with the mouth he confesses, resulting in salvation."
Suddenly, you are clean, white as snow and blameless in the eyes of God. When He died on that cross, he took on all of your sins-past, present and future. He basically traded you accounts. When God looks at you, He no longer sees your flaws and your sins. He sees His son.
He did it ALL for you. He said it was finished.
He rose. He made a way.
Just accept it.
Have you succeeded?
Have you made even one minute, insignificant mistake...?
Think about it now....
Have you told even one little white lie, given someone a dirty look or had a scandalous thought...?
Well, then, you are no longer clean. Period.
If you've messed up once, then you are damaged goods. Stained forever. Trashed.
I'm sorry, but you will not spend eternity in paradise because, unfortunately, you can never stand blameless before the One that created you.
But wait...there is one hope for you!
There is one perfect person. The person of Jesus Christ.
He did not sin once--NOT EVEN ONCE--EVER! If only you had his record, right?
You can. Anyone can.
All you have to do is accept Him.
Romans 10:4 says, "For Christ is the end of the law for righteousness to everyone who believes."
It couldn't be more simple. It couldn't be more clear.
Romans 10:9 says, "if you confess with your mouth Jesus as Lord, and believe in your heart that God raised Him from the dead, you will be saved; for with the heart a person believes, resulting in righteousness, and with the mouth he confesses, resulting in salvation."
Suddenly, you are clean, white as snow and blameless in the eyes of God. When He died on that cross, he took on all of your sins-past, present and future. He basically traded you accounts. When God looks at you, He no longer sees your flaws and your sins. He sees His son.
He did it ALL for you. He said it was finished.
He rose. He made a way.
Just accept it.
Friday, March 20, 2009
My prayer for you...
Son,
I am excited to meet you. I pray so many things for you. I pray you have good health and that you rarely get sick. I pray you are a happy baby. I pray you sleep and get peaceful and fulfilling rest. I pray that nightmares do not come to you. I pray you feel secure and safe. I pray that you feel loved every day. I pray that you are coordinated and that you like to breastfeed. I pray that you keep a good schedule. I pray that you are like your Father. I pray that you are like your Father in heaven. I pray that you know Jesus and know Him well and know Him early in your life. I pray that you succeed in everything you try and that you give God the glory. I pray that you are not tempted beyond what you can handle. I pray that you are strong. I pray that you are intelligent. I pray that in your weakness, God is strong. I pray that God will give you eyes to see and ears to hear. I pray that you are compassionate. I pray that you are sensitive. I pray that you are not prideful. I pray that you will love your parents but not more that you love God. I pray that you will be a witness. I pray that you will be discerning. I pray that you will be forgiving. I pray most of all, my son, that you will obey God and love Him so that we will all be together for eternity with our loving God.
I love you!
I am excited to meet you. I pray so many things for you. I pray you have good health and that you rarely get sick. I pray you are a happy baby. I pray you sleep and get peaceful and fulfilling rest. I pray that nightmares do not come to you. I pray you feel secure and safe. I pray that you feel loved every day. I pray that you are coordinated and that you like to breastfeed. I pray that you keep a good schedule. I pray that you are like your Father. I pray that you are like your Father in heaven. I pray that you know Jesus and know Him well and know Him early in your life. I pray that you succeed in everything you try and that you give God the glory. I pray that you are not tempted beyond what you can handle. I pray that you are strong. I pray that you are intelligent. I pray that in your weakness, God is strong. I pray that God will give you eyes to see and ears to hear. I pray that you are compassionate. I pray that you are sensitive. I pray that you are not prideful. I pray that you will love your parents but not more that you love God. I pray that you will be a witness. I pray that you will be discerning. I pray that you will be forgiving. I pray most of all, my son, that you will obey God and love Him so that we will all be together for eternity with our loving God.
I love you!
Wednesday, February 11, 2009
Ok, what's left...
So everything in the baby's room is finally coming together. His room is almost done. I have to remember to post pictures when it is complete. There's just a couple more things that I need to do:
1. DONE! Paint the holes I put over the window when I tried to hang a valance (which looked really stupid).
2. DONE! Fix a couple of blemishes in the ceiling with the white paint from the garage.
3. DONE! Put the rocking chair in the corner.
4. DONE! What about a footrest and a seat cushion...?
5. DONE! Pick out the pictures that I'm going to put in the memory board and get them printed at Costco with the artistic white edge.
6. DONE! Hamper by the rocking chair...? (I think I registered for this)
7. DONE! I need one more picture frame on the dresser with a newborn pic of baby wooten.
8. DONE! Take down the material over the bed and hem it and then fasten it better to the ceiling.
9. DONE! Insert baskets (registered for these) in the changing table.
10. DONE! Arrange the baby's clothes how I want them in the drawers
11. DONE! Clean everything
12. DONE! Wait for the baby to get here!
Other to dos before the baby arrives:
1. DONE! Ask Bonnie if we can borrow her camera for the big day
2. DONE! Register at the hospital
3. DONE! Fireproof safe
4. Clean the carpets
5. Research and buy washable diapers
6. DONE! Buy Time Machine for Mac
7. DONE! Find a PCP for Matt and I
8. DONE! Look up questions and meet baby's doctor (and call insurance)
9. DONE! Finish up baby classes
10. DONE! Finish reading baby book
11. DONE! Get breastfeeding book from Holly and read it!
12. DONE! Have Laura and Patty over for Dinner to discuss nanny job
13. Clean behind the fridge and washer/dryer
14. DONE! Get the crib from Kate and borrow some maternity clothes
15. DONE! Make sure I'm stocked up on all of the groceries and paper goods
16. DONE! Have a list ready for those who want to help once the baby gets here
17. DONE! Get the garage in order
18. DONE! Pack hospital bag
19. DONE! Hang info for nursing support group on the fridge
20. DONE! Taxes
21. DONE! Pay Home Depot card off
22. DONE! Make sure finances are in order
23. DONE! Request leave packet for Conseco mid March and complete
24. DONE! Get Daisy groomed-set for Mar 11
25. DONE! Get a hair cut and color-set for Mar 13
26. DONE! Give Matt a hair cut
27. DONE! Put some frozen meals together
28. DONE! Clean vents
29. DONE! Hang the blinds
30. DONE! Get all that crap out of the back yard
31. Study Infant CPR skills
32. DONE! Make feeding schedule/bathroom schedule/growth chart
33. DONE! Have Bob pick up dresser
34. DONE! Buy camcorder
35. DONE! Post printer, grill tools, & little TV on Craigslist
36. DONE! Buy recycling bins
37. DONE! Thank you cards
38. DONE! Start baby book
39. DONE! Take stuff to Goodwill
40. DONE! Take back baby returns
41. DONE! Buy the last of the baby stuff
42. DONE! Rick to fix the thermostat
Is this what they call nesting...?
1. DONE! Paint the holes I put over the window when I tried to hang a valance (which looked really stupid).
2. DONE! Fix a couple of blemishes in the ceiling with the white paint from the garage.
3. DONE! Put the rocking chair in the corner.
4. DONE! What about a footrest and a seat cushion...?
5. DONE! Pick out the pictures that I'm going to put in the memory board and get them printed at Costco with the artistic white edge.
6. DONE! Hamper by the rocking chair...? (I think I registered for this)
7. DONE! I need one more picture frame on the dresser with a newborn pic of baby wooten.
8. DONE! Take down the material over the bed and hem it and then fasten it better to the ceiling.
9. DONE! Insert baskets (registered for these) in the changing table.
10. DONE! Arrange the baby's clothes how I want them in the drawers
11. DONE! Clean everything
12. DONE! Wait for the baby to get here!
Other to dos before the baby arrives:
1. DONE! Ask Bonnie if we can borrow her camera for the big day
2. DONE! Register at the hospital
3. DONE! Fireproof safe
4. Clean the carpets
5. Research and buy washable diapers
6. DONE! Buy Time Machine for Mac
7. DONE! Find a PCP for Matt and I
8. DONE! Look up questions and meet baby's doctor (and call insurance)
9. DONE! Finish up baby classes
10. DONE! Finish reading baby book
11. DONE! Get breastfeeding book from Holly and read it!
12. DONE! Have Laura and Patty over for Dinner to discuss nanny job
13. Clean behind the fridge and washer/dryer
14. DONE! Get the crib from Kate and borrow some maternity clothes
15. DONE! Make sure I'm stocked up on all of the groceries and paper goods
16. DONE! Have a list ready for those who want to help once the baby gets here
17. DONE! Get the garage in order
18. DONE! Pack hospital bag
19. DONE! Hang info for nursing support group on the fridge
20. DONE! Taxes
21. DONE! Pay Home Depot card off
22. DONE! Make sure finances are in order
23. DONE! Request leave packet for Conseco mid March and complete
24. DONE! Get Daisy groomed-set for Mar 11
25. DONE! Get a hair cut and color-set for Mar 13
26. DONE! Give Matt a hair cut
27. DONE! Put some frozen meals together
28. DONE! Clean vents
29. DONE! Hang the blinds
30. DONE! Get all that crap out of the back yard
31. Study Infant CPR skills
32. DONE! Make feeding schedule/bathroom schedule/growth chart
33. DONE! Have Bob pick up dresser
34. DONE! Buy camcorder
35. DONE! Post printer, grill tools, & little TV on Craigslist
36. DONE! Buy recycling bins
37. DONE! Thank you cards
38. DONE! Start baby book
39. DONE! Take stuff to Goodwill
40. DONE! Take back baby returns
41. DONE! Buy the last of the baby stuff
42. DONE! Rick to fix the thermostat
Is this what they call nesting...?
Monday, January 5, 2009
An Old Way of Thinking...
Here I am again. How did I get in this situation? That's right...I got myself into this. It's my own fault. But aren't I just a victim? Does anyone really expect that I could resist this temptation? Other people aren't resisting. Besides, this is just too difficult. Everyone understands. God understands. Right? Maybe I'll try to find out that answer later...when I'm not in this predicament.
I wonder...is it too late to leave and get out of this. I suppose it is. Leaving would just make everyone involve extremely uncomfortable--oh, thank God! An interruption. This is my chance to get out of this. Move! Go! Now!! Hurry before it's too late! Why am I not moving? ...Shoot, I missed my chance. Oh well, this is the last time this is going to happen. I swear. I'm turning over a new leaf. But right now, I'm just in too deep.
What should I be thinking about right now? I'm not even paying attention.
I guess I should just give in completely. I've already submitted. Anyway, don't you remember the past? It's too late to change. So many mistakes have already been made. I am who I am, I guess. No one can truly change...can they?
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
Transform yourself by the renewing of your mind.
I am a new creation. Made new in Christ.
I can do anything through Christ who strengthens me.
Turn from your evils ways...
I wonder...is it too late to leave and get out of this. I suppose it is. Leaving would just make everyone involve extremely uncomfortable--oh, thank God! An interruption. This is my chance to get out of this. Move! Go! Now!! Hurry before it's too late! Why am I not moving? ...Shoot, I missed my chance. Oh well, this is the last time this is going to happen. I swear. I'm turning over a new leaf. But right now, I'm just in too deep.
What should I be thinking about right now? I'm not even paying attention.
I guess I should just give in completely. I've already submitted. Anyway, don't you remember the past? It's too late to change. So many mistakes have already been made. I am who I am, I guess. No one can truly change...can they?
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
Transform yourself by the renewing of your mind.
I am a new creation. Made new in Christ.
I can do anything through Christ who strengthens me.
Turn from your evils ways...
Wednesday, December 3, 2008
The Big Scare...
So we finally arrived at that big day we had been longing for since we found out I was with child. I counted down to this day for months. Matt said it was a girl. I thought it was a boy. Within seconds of the ultrasound, the tech announced that it was a boy. Tears filled my eyes automatically. I looked at Matt. He was staring at the screen--at our little boy. It's difficult to even describe that moment-all of the emotions and thoughts and feelings flooding into my mind and heart all at the same time.
The baby moves around a lot. He's a very active boy inside my stomach. Is he trying to get comfortable in there? Is he anxious to come out and meet the many people who have been praying for him?
Then we went to see the doctor-well, the nurse practitioner. My doctor was out of town the week of the ultrasound. Oh, how I wish she would have been here. Maybe things would have been different that day... The nurse practitioner talked through the appointment about all of the usual stuff, like I'm gaining too much weight, are there any problems, etc...nothing too groundbreaking. Then she says it. There was a slight "problem" with the ultrasound. It's fairly common, but the baby has a calcification on his heart. She rambled on with some other medical terms. "What does that mean?" I asked. "Well, it is what we call a soft indicator of down syndrome..." She went on but I had already checked out from the conversation. My mind reeled at the thought of having a baby with down syndrome. Immediately, I thought I would love the baby no matter what and God is in control... But, I was in complete and utter shock. The nurse said she would leave so Matt and I could talk. She wanted us to discuss whether we wanted to take a blood test to determine whether the baby has down syndrome. She left the room and we just stared at each other and uttered, "what do you want to do? I don't know, what do you want to do?" It was a very strange experience.
I took the test.
At one point in the waiting room, the lady who performed the ultrasound came out and sat next to me. She said, "You look terrible" and I told her that's how I felt. She paused for a second and then she did something so incredible. She looked me straight in the eye and said with unusual confidence, "Everything's going to be fine. I see this all the time. I've been in your shoes and I promise everything's going to be ok." She hugged me, questions still spinning around in my head--Did she mean the baby doesn't have down? Did she see something that maybe the doctors didn't? Did she mean that her baby had the same calcification issue and he came out fine? I didn't ask anything. I just hugged her, cried and said thank you.
They didn't give me the results for 4 days. There was a whole range of emotions. Fear, then calm, despair, hope, then joy. I've never asked so many people for prayer. I asked people who I know don't even pray if they would pray for my unborn child and I think they did.
God answered with His calming peace that transcends all understanding. Although, we didn't know during Thanksgiving, we still rejoiced, knowing that God is in control and no matter what everything would be ok.
When the nurse called to give us the good news, I felt I already knew the answer. At least, I wasn't surprised or maybe it was that I had peace about the whole situation. Whatever, it was, I'm so thankful.
God, you are a great God! I don't know why things happen the way they do. I don't think I want to know. You are in control and I would rather trust you and know nothing than have all the answers in the world. I give you my life and my heart. I love you Lord above all else. You are a gracious god. You are faithful. I love you and I will tell you always. Forgive me for times when I did not trust you. I want to always put my trust in you. Words are not enough to describe your majesty.
The baby moves around a lot. He's a very active boy inside my stomach. Is he trying to get comfortable in there? Is he anxious to come out and meet the many people who have been praying for him?
Then we went to see the doctor-well, the nurse practitioner. My doctor was out of town the week of the ultrasound. Oh, how I wish she would have been here. Maybe things would have been different that day... The nurse practitioner talked through the appointment about all of the usual stuff, like I'm gaining too much weight, are there any problems, etc...nothing too groundbreaking. Then she says it. There was a slight "problem" with the ultrasound. It's fairly common, but the baby has a calcification on his heart. She rambled on with some other medical terms. "What does that mean?" I asked. "Well, it is what we call a soft indicator of down syndrome..." She went on but I had already checked out from the conversation. My mind reeled at the thought of having a baby with down syndrome. Immediately, I thought I would love the baby no matter what and God is in control... But, I was in complete and utter shock. The nurse said she would leave so Matt and I could talk. She wanted us to discuss whether we wanted to take a blood test to determine whether the baby has down syndrome. She left the room and we just stared at each other and uttered, "what do you want to do? I don't know, what do you want to do?" It was a very strange experience.
I took the test.
At one point in the waiting room, the lady who performed the ultrasound came out and sat next to me. She said, "You look terrible" and I told her that's how I felt. She paused for a second and then she did something so incredible. She looked me straight in the eye and said with unusual confidence, "Everything's going to be fine. I see this all the time. I've been in your shoes and I promise everything's going to be ok." She hugged me, questions still spinning around in my head--Did she mean the baby doesn't have down? Did she see something that maybe the doctors didn't? Did she mean that her baby had the same calcification issue and he came out fine? I didn't ask anything. I just hugged her, cried and said thank you.
They didn't give me the results for 4 days. There was a whole range of emotions. Fear, then calm, despair, hope, then joy. I've never asked so many people for prayer. I asked people who I know don't even pray if they would pray for my unborn child and I think they did.
God answered with His calming peace that transcends all understanding. Although, we didn't know during Thanksgiving, we still rejoiced, knowing that God is in control and no matter what everything would be ok.
When the nurse called to give us the good news, I felt I already knew the answer. At least, I wasn't surprised or maybe it was that I had peace about the whole situation. Whatever, it was, I'm so thankful.
God, you are a great God! I don't know why things happen the way they do. I don't think I want to know. You are in control and I would rather trust you and know nothing than have all the answers in the world. I give you my life and my heart. I love you Lord above all else. You are a gracious god. You are faithful. I love you and I will tell you always. Forgive me for times when I did not trust you. I want to always put my trust in you. Words are not enough to describe your majesty.
Tuesday, November 18, 2008
Order My Steps
Lord, help me to manage my time wisely. I feel so overwhelmed lately with all of the extra-curriculer activities. Maybe it's just my frame of mind. Yes, I've been slightly negative. It's upsetting to me when there's something planned each evening. Lately, I've been involved in children's choir rehearsal, small group, worship rehearsal and just the regular events of daily living (not to mention preparing for the baby to arrive). Plus there's been extra stuff like the jewelry party, overflow night at church, and dinner invitations left and right. You know everything that's going on and you also know true intentions of my heart. Am I being selfish just wanting all the time to myself? I realize that it is important to rest but it's also vitally important to be in relationships.
In his heart, a man plans his course, but the Lord determines his steps.
God, you are the leader of my life. Please guide me into what is important for each day. Let my will be in line with yours. Help me to make good decisions for me and the baby but at the same time help me to be a servant to others and not myself. Don't allow the daily grind to overwhelm me for you have overcome the world. He that is in me is greater than he that is in the world. Lord, please break the bonds of routine and wipe out my expectations. I want to depend on you, Holy Spirit, to guide each step.
In his heart, a man plans his course, but the Lord determines his steps.
God, you are the leader of my life. Please guide me into what is important for each day. Let my will be in line with yours. Help me to make good decisions for me and the baby but at the same time help me to be a servant to others and not myself. Don't allow the daily grind to overwhelm me for you have overcome the world. He that is in me is greater than he that is in the world. Lord, please break the bonds of routine and wipe out my expectations. I want to depend on you, Holy Spirit, to guide each step.
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